When I was a baby, my older sister used to boss me around. She’d make me wear dresses and put makeup on me. I played along, maybe out of seeking my sisters affection or not having the courage to tell her no.
My inner desperation must have peaked because around age three I’d had enough. Arguing with my sister over control became a real family pastime.
I had a lousy time working service jobs as a teenager. I almost always hated management. Partially because I thought they sucked at their jobs, but also because I couldn’t be trusted to communicate my frustrations effectively. So they’d get worse.
On one particular occasion, the summer was approaching. We had four busboys, and two of them were going to be out for summer. I warned management that we needed to hire replacements. They chose to ignore me.
Summer came around, and our two casual part-time busboys were now slammed with full schedules. I wrote a letter to management, detailing how if they just promoted me to manager, they couldn’t avoided this shitshow.
I got fired the next day. I still think I was right, but damn I lacked tact.
The theme of rebelling against causes I disagreed with trended through my early twenties. Why should I have to listen to them if I can do a better job damnit! A high level of frustration developed if I felt someone was using power in a way I thought to be ineffective.
Being entrepreneurial and finding early career success has been a great symptom of my childhood issues. But so has some a lot of awkward habits, negative self talk and other icky mind gunk that hasn’t done me ANY favors.
I don’t like my computer having viruses and too much bulky useless programs and my mind is no different. In my early twenties I thought I could fix myself without seeking outside help.
My biases, no matter how hard I work, have blind spots though. Without outside help, I may never see them, or it will take me years longer than it should have to see them.
The mastermind I’m part of helps me make better professional decisions. My therapist helps me with everything else.
Don’t let the stigma our therapy has discourage you. If you think you don’t need a therapist then schedule one session and talk about you think you don’t need a therapist with your therapist. You’ll make yourself happier and a more effective human and whatever you’re trying to do.
Have questions about how to approach starting therapy? Reach out to me and I’d love to help.